So I'm at the gym the other day, trying vainly to rage, rage against the dying of the very heavy, when I happen to enter the men's locker room for my pre-workout ablutions. I navigate through the faux-wood lockers and betoweled gentlemen to the washroom. I have to make a 270 degree left turn past the privacy screen, so I am unprepared for the sight I was about to behold.
A reasonably burly man was standing in front of the mirror, completely nude save for his shower shoes, shaving his face delicately. What was odd about this (as if a man, starkers, isn't enough) was that his ENTIRE body was heavily lathered. Not "slightly soapy from the shower" or "littered with droplets of shaving cream from his face" but lathered up as if he was about to shave every last hair from his skin like a channel swimmer.
So, to recap: a nude man (except for his shower shoes) completely soapy, standing in front of the mirror shaving his cheeks. The ones on his face, I mean. He also had a remarkably bushy moustache, sort of like a 19th century Edwardian prizefighter, which he was not touching.
As is the male code, I ignored the spectacle as best I could. This gives rise to some questions, though. Since we men are supposed to utterly ignore all male nudity when we encounter it (lest we move one single iota from the extreme left hand side of the Kinsey Scale) I wonder what a person could get away with while nude. Could I, for example, strip down to the buff and start stealing from the locker room with impunity? No one would see me, and anyone who claimed to be a witness would be vulnerable to charges of *gasp* homosexuality. So I am afforded a certain degree of immunity just by having my wedding tackle out?
Has anyone done a study on this? Just how invisible are naked men to other naked men in locker rooms?
Worth a grant, at least...